I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
