Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
