he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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