You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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