doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
