and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
