I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
