In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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