I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
