He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
