please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
