This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
