How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
