All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
