I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm at about main and main street
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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