Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
