i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
