think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
