the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
