you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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