You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
