just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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