last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
