I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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