Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
