im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
