it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
handjob tips. give me some.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
