He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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