Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
