doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
