Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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