Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
