I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
