I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
