You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
