I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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