we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
