chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
