shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
