Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
