I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
