I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What a dumb baby whore.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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