We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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