I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
