i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
