i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
