The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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