that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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