We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
