Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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