We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
