Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
