there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
