Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
