you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
