I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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