I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
