Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i've created a new STD.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
