The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
