When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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