we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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