some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
