he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
