Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
